It weighs me down.
It screams "you're not enough."
I can't do enough.
I've battled perfectionism most of my life. It has affected nearly every level of my personal life. I hadn't realized until recently that it had crept into the way I parent.
Here are the ways I've recently identified that perfectionism has become a part of my parenting style.
BEHAVIORS vs. THE HEART: I focus on behaviors. I look at what they're doing/saying wrong. I focus solely on behaviors and how I might modify them. I become driven to parent using reward/discipline rather than grace and mercy. I can control behaviors. Perfectionism doesn't rely upon grace and mercy....that's how God parents me.....His imperfect daughter.
WHO DO THEY REFLECT? I want my kids to be a positive representation of how I am as a parent. When I approach parenting from a perfectionistic point of view, I am looking for affirmation for myself. I want others to think that I have it all together or that I am doing a great job.
Who should my child REALLY be reflecting? Me or Christ?! Ouch. Perfectionism doesn't rely upon me or my abilities.......it reflects God's saving grace at work in me and in my kids......that's how God parents me....His imperfect daughter.
They need Jesus. Not me without Him. He's enough. The perfect parent for His imperfect children.
How about you? In what ways do you see your perfectionistic tendencies affecting your parenting?