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Momma's Monday Madness--Sometimes I'm Not Really Present

1/14/2013

2 Comments

 
I struggle with living fully present in each moment because I am juggling so many things. I've given too many things a place of priority in my life that don't deserve places of priority.

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Sometimes I'm not really present. I'm there physically speaking but not connecting with those I'm sitting in the same room with. This ugly reminder came compliments of my middle daughter last week. "Never mind. You're not really listening" was what she uttered after I'd asked her to repeat something. Ugh. I'd been caught up in what I was doing and working on and was only half heartedly listening to what she was saying. Kids can smell a rat a mile away. They know when I'm present and when I'm only half heartedly listening, trying to appease them for the moment.

It seems that I've developed a bad habit of that recently. I have all sorts of excuses (and, I think good ones!) from I need to finish this writing assignment to I need to send this quick email. 
 
When my kids say things like "want to come outside and watch me ride the donkey?" (yes, we have a donkey!) and I really want to be finishing up something that is long overdue, I often decline. When they ask if I want to come see something in their rooms and I've got a million things left on my daily to-do list and I've not even started dinner, I am quick to offer excuses. 
 
It seems that every waking moment belongs to someone other than me. My kids, my husband, my church, and on and on it goes. I'm not safe even in the bathroom (especially in the bathroom it seems. How do they always know?!)

I struggle with living fully present in each moment because I am juggling so many things. I've given too many things a place of priority in my life that don't deserve places of priority. 

Author Toni Morrison appeared on the Oprah show a number of years ago and had this to say: "As mothers, we have the power to make our children feel important, confident, and loved. We do that by being present in the moment. By the sheer
expression of our face," Toni explained, our face expresses what is in our heart. She asks all of us when our child enters a room, “does your face light up?” 

"When my children used to walk in the room, when they were little, I looked at them to see if they had buckled their trousers or if their hair was combed or if their socks were up," she told Oprah. "You think your affection and your deep love is on display because you're caring for them. It's not. When they see you, they see the critical face. But if you let your face speak what's in your heart...because when they walked in the room, I was glad to see them. It's just as small as that, you see." Read more: http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/The-Greatest-Lessons-on-The-Oprah-Show_1/4#ixzz2Hu8m8PRr

Wow. It's that simple? Does my face light up at the sight of them? There are many times when I know that it doesn't. Can they see the disappointment sometimes? Can they see the many different directions in which I'm being pulled?

I want them to see me light up. Yes, I realize that this crazy life that includes the role of mom seems to always be out of balance. I understand that sometimes I need to carve out time for me to be by myself. I get it. I really do. But, when I think of what lies in the balance, the confidence of my own kids, I'm challenged to live differently. I'm challenged to experience
each moment as it happens. To remember who they are and how important they are, to reflect on my face what's in my heart towards them.

 I'm challenging myself in the days ahead to be present enough in each moment to allow my face to reflect what's in my
heart.

What about you? Do you have trouble living in the moment sometimes? Are you able to reflect on your face what's in your heart? 
 


 
2 Comments
Edith Lashmit
1/13/2013 09:46:48 pm

Loved it! How refreshing to My motherhood soul! Thank you so much, we love you guys. And remember often in our prayers! You have a beautiful family! God bless you!

Reply
jill
1/18/2013 12:12:24 am

Hi Edith! Glad you stopped by and that you found the post helpful. We'd love to see you all sometime! Great to hear from you.

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    About Me

    Jill Waltz
    I blog about Children's Ministry, Family Ministry, Leadership, and parenting. 
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    I'm a children's pastor who is doing what I know I was designed to do. I love to encourage others who are in ministry.  The things you'll read on here are the things I'd share with you over a cup of coffee as we swap ideas and share the victories and frustrations of ministry. 

    I am the Children's Pastor at the Anderson First Church of the Nazarene. The views and opinions expressed here are my own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Anderson First Church.

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