Mama Bear came into the world on April 1, 2001. The day our first daughter was born was a day that would forever awaken in me feelings of protection that I never knew existed. Today I found myself trying to quiet Mama Bear ask my daughter fought to regain control of her broken emotions. As I learned of the hurt that she felt, I had to fight harder.
I must admit, my first response is to lash out. What I really wanted to say was "wow, she's a real winner" as my voice dripped with sarcasm. I wanted to reach out and touch someone with a chair on the forehead as I thought of this child verbally assaulting mine. So much carnal nature rising to the surface. I nearly let it all out in a tyrade of emotion to equal that of my daughter. Since it could be considered unwise to hurt someone else's child, I decided that I needed to counsel God and ask for wisdom as we dealt with the situation at hand.
As I collected myself and put Mama Bear back into hibernation for a time, I was reminded by the Holy Spirit of a few
1. Instead of rushing to bad mouth someone else, I needed to find a way to speak kindly. Easier said than done. This is only done because of the strength of God's Spirit within me. On my own, I'm too weak. I need Him to show me how to love someone that appears unlovable at the time. If I can demonstrate for my kids how a Christian should respond when hurt by another, I'll be modeling for them a lifelong skill that we all need.
2. I needed to confirm my daughter's feelings. I'm quick to want to fix things and offer solutions. Many times what she needs to hear from me is "I'll be that hurt, didn't it?" as I listen with a sympathetic ear. I need to find ways to confirm what she's feeling--not worry so much about my desire to fix her hurt.
3. This is a perfect time to teach a needed life-skill. I talked with her about when things hurt us we need to come before God and ask the question, "is there something You want me to learn from this, God?" That's a grown up skill that on most days I don't possess. There are times when we are hurt because there is an element of truth that needs to be looked at and learned from. We need to go before God and ask if this is the case. If not, we can dismiss it and it's not ours to worry about.
This Mama Bear is wounded when her cubs are hurting. I imagine you are too. Have you ever wanted to "reach out and touch" someone else's kid?! What have you done to model for your kids how to handle these things with love and grace?
*please note that this author would never harm another child. These comments were made in jest (well, mostly ;)