In the midst of my broken vulnerability, I cling to Jesus. He's the one who provides hope.
In tense parenting moments, I wish I could keep my composure or act as if I didn't feel weak or unprepared to handle the situation. I wish I had all of the answers.
I'm vulnerable when I realize how much of my world they really are. I feel raw thinking about a life without them. My heart skips a beat when I think they've been hurt.
Motherhood is painful. It causes feelings of vulnerability unlike any other role I'll ever have. I've never loved so deeply.
Feeling vulnerable as a mom is not what I would choose. I would rather feel confident and self assured at all times. Most of the time, though, I feel less than skilled and highly unqualified to be handling the emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical needs of three other human beings.
The more I think about feeling vulnerable, the more I've come to realize that feeling vulnerable isn't all bad. Feeling vulnerable allows me to.......
Remember that I'm not ultimately in control of my kids. I've heard it said before "if your kids go bad, you're not necessarily the one to blame. If they turn out well, you're not necessarily to blame either." My kids were born with a free will (as was I). They will, ultimately choose the path they will take in life. I can prepare and pray diligently until that day. Then, they become who they want to be.
Express my dependence upon God. I know that when I am at my weakest, He is strong. I can count on Him. When I feel less than qualified or capable, He's there to remind me that He's not. Feeling vulnerable requires me to deepen my dependence upon Him.
Feeling vulnerable requires that I step out of areas that are safe for me and experience growth. As with most change, it's not always comfortable. Motherhood has changed me to the core of my being. Vulnerability is something that God continues to mold within me. Maybe He wants to use that in another relationship I will one day be a part of. I have to trust Him as He changes me daily.
In the midst of my broken vulnerability, I cling to Jesus. He's the one who provides hope. Not me. It's not my ability as a mom that my kids need. They need to see me deeply in love with Jesus. They need to know I value His Word. They need to see Him change me. Even if it means He uses the vulnerable moments.
How about you? What times in parenting do you feel the most vulnerable? Have you ever seen being vulnerable as positive?