When I keep my eyes turned towards Jesus, I am able to see beyond the mix of emotions that this maniacal mission of mommy-hood manufactures.
While I can experience quiet moments of complete peace lying in bed rubbing the head of a sleepy child, while moments earlier I have just dealt with a discipline issue that was beyond what I knew how to handle. I can laugh til I cry one moment enjoying the delight of my children and the next be swept away in a torrent of fear over their future.
I've known highs and lows these past twelve years that I've never known. I'm convinced that parenting is the most emotionally taxing undertaking I will ever attempt. Besides lining the back of my sink with prescription meds to deal with the bipolar issues I face on a daily basis, what does God expect of me? Is this a normal part of parenting? What am I to learn in the midst of these manic mood-swings?
I want to really be present in the highs: there are times as a mom when I'm merely present physically. I've checked out emotionally and am on to the next activity/assignment or task. I need to consciously be present in those moments when I am experiencing a high with my family.
I want to soak in the presence of God in the midst of the highs: I know that often I don't really stop to think about God being present in the laughter of my kids. Or that God smiles when He sees one of my kids really connecting with me. His desire is that I could see Him at work in all of the good that I experience.
During the lows: I want to seek God's wisdom all the more. He's the one with the answers. I am not. I need His strength and counsel to get through these rough patches.
During the lows: I will seek to remain hopeful remembering that there are "seasons" to this journey called parenthood. (Thank God because this pre-teen season may kill me prematurely!)
During the highs and lows: I will not "own" my children but realize that they're God's first and foremost. He has a plan for them that surpasses my own plans for their future. I need to remember that during the lows He's got a plan and throughout the highs, He's at work.
My main responsibility is to grow in my relationship with Him that I can better parent each of my kids according to God's will. The mood swings seem a bit more manageable when I remember this. When I keep my eyes turned towards Jesus, I am able to see beyond the mix of emotions that this maniacal mission of mommy-hood manufactures.
How about you? Do you ever experience bipolar mood swings in your home when it comes to parenting? How do you deal with them?