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Momma's Monday Madness--Sometimes I Try To Be Perfect

6/17/2013

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I am not sure if it was my upbringing, my personality type, birth order, or what but I find  myself constantly trying to "one up" what I've last done.

If I were to attend an addictions meeting I would introduce myself like this, "Hi I'm Jill and I'm a perfectionist." 
 
I strive to always make things bigger, better, more exciting the next time around. I am a believer in excellence. I want to make God look good, after all, right?!

I might not mind if I made myself look good in the process too. (cough, cough. Pride)
 
Did we have the highest ever turn out at VBS last year? We will double that this year. 

Did we send more kids to camp this summer than ever before? This year we'll send more and raise more funds to send more kids free of charge. 
 
Did my kid just make a decision that made me proud? Then I start hammering home the next value I want her to model. 
 
Does my home look clean? Well, now we work to make it spotless! 
 
Work longer.

Push harder.

Do more. 

Perfectionism in ministry and motherhood has never proven to be positive. Instead, it oftentimes.....

 Leaves me exhausted

Disoriented--I have so many things going through my mind at once that I can't think clearly or make decisions. 

Sometimes makes others afraid to work with me because of the impossible standards I set. 

Each time I strive to be perfect, I fall short.   

God didn't call me to be perfect. Far from it. If I were, I wouldn't need Him. I don't need to have all of the answers. I am allowed to mess up.  

God doesn't need me to be a perfect parent/pastor. He needs for those around me to see HIS perfect work in me. My perfectionism is yet another way that God continues to chip away at my exterior and allow Himself to be seen doing what He does best...total transformation. 
 
Maybe you feel the pressure to be perfect too. Maybe you constantly try to outdo what you've recently accomplished. Maybe you're in need of a transformation as well. Take the steps and begin your road to recovery!

How about you? Do you ever struggle with being a perfect parent/pastor? What have you done to overcome this? 
 


 
 
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Confessions of a People Pleasing Pastor

6/4/2013

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"Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ." Gal. 10:1

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I admit that I've struggled with the desire to please others most of my life. It's affected my relationships, work, and ministry. 
 
I can't stand it when I think that someone is upset with me. Or even if I think that someone thinks I've done a less than stellar job with something, I'm prone to obsess about it. It's been known to keep me awake at night. 

While I have made remarkable strides in this particular area, I recently found myself allowing my people pleasing roots to, once again, take root in my heart. It began to grow like a Chia Pet on steroids. 
 
I think that all of us are born with some sense of a need to please others. We grow up wanting our parents, teachers, and classmates to be happy. It's part of our human nature.  

People pleasing in ministry is dangerous. We start off trying to gain the approval, confidence, and trust of those we serve. It all begins well. 
 
People please becomes a problem when it determines our actions and our motivations in ministry.  If my desire to please people is as great as my desire to please the Lord I've got a problem. 
 
When People Pleasing Pastors know they have a problem:

1. When I've run myself ragged. I realize that I've worked so hard to accomplish what others expected of me. I end up burned out and frustrated. 

2. I am not able to make courageous decisions. When I operate out of a need to minister in order to please people, I am never truly a courageous leader. 

3. I rely upon my own strengths more than the power of the Holy Spirit in ministry. 

What to do about it:

1. Recognize daily the need for surrender. When I find myself going down that path, I have to sometimes hour by hour ask The Lord to order my steps. I rely more upon the Holy Spirit to determine my schedule for the day, the relationships that I make  a priority, and the tasks I choose to accomplish. 
 
2. I must be ok with the fact that some won't like me or like the decisions I make as a leader. Bottom line. 
 
"Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ." Gal. 10:1

Whose approval do you seek today? In what ways do you struggle with people pleasing tendencies in your ministry? 
 


 
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Momma's Monday Madness--Sometimes It's All About Me

6/3/2013

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This isn't about me. I'm fine, thank you very much. 

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I hate it when I see commercials that imply that "it's all about you." Commercials such as "have it your way" or "you deserve" such and such. I am easily irked by the message that society is constantly sending us that "it really is all about you." 

We teach our kids from an early age it's all about them. We'll completely reprioritize our lives or schedules to accommodate a desire they have. We'll move mountains to ensure that they can get on the best sporting teams, dance at the best academy, or get into the best colleges. 
 
The reason this gets me is because The Bible very clearly teaches us that ITS NOT ABOUT US! Our lives are very clearly (as described in scripture) about being in relationship with God, submitting to His will and direction, and about teaching others to do the same. 
 
So, you can imagine my shock yesterday when I heard someone allude to the fact that perhaps God was using an issue with my child to TEACH ME something. Seriously?! This isn't about me. I'm fine, thank you very much. 
 
This is so much more about the behavioral issues we've had, the frustrations that we experience or the never ending emotional and physical fatigue parenthood brings. This is NOT. ABOUT. ME. 
 
Well, what if it were? What if God really did "cause ALL things to work together for (my) good?" What if He is using the situations I walk through as a parent to teach me to be submissive to Him more throughout my day?

What if He were trying to show me that my kids are His and not really mine anyways. What if He wants to teach me to lean on Him more than the parenting books I'm tempted to stick my nose in? 
 
What if the imperfections in my kids are being used.....because He promised that He would work all things together for our good......to mold me....to change me....to call me into a deeper relationship with Him? 
 
What if He really does?

I realize that this could be about me. It could be these parenting struggles that I face are the very things that God is using to make me more like Him. 

Sometimes parenting is painful. Most days completely exhausting. More often than not I have no idea what I'm doing. But what if I'm good with that because I know the One who is? 

Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who are called according to his purpose."

Genesis 50: 20 "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good, to accomplish what is now being done." 

Today its about me. Not the kind of "about me" that will go and get a mani, pedi, earn me lots of Kohl's cash. But instead, the "about me" that says, "OK, Lord would You help me to know if there's something I should be learning through this experience as a mom?" "What about my character needs to be refined? I'm Yours God because this could be about me." 
 
How about you? Have you ever thought about how God could be using your parenting struggles to teach you something? In what ways has He shown you it is about you?

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    About Me

    Jill Waltz
    I blog about Children's Ministry, Family Ministry, Leadership, and parenting. 
    #kidmin 

    #fammin
    I'm a children's pastor who is doing what I know I was designed to do. I love to encourage others who are in ministry.  The things you'll read on here are the things I'd share with you over a cup of coffee as we swap ideas and share the victories and frustrations of ministry. 

    I am the Children's Pastor at the Anderson First Church of the Nazarene. The views and opinions expressed here are my own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Anderson First Church.

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  • KidMin Themes & Object Talks
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  • Lessons & Admin
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    • Recommended Links
    • Pre-Teen Journey to the Summit >
      • Journey to the Summit Comments:
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