Dear KidMin Leader, 
I'd love to introduce you to my friends Trey (Certified Strengths Advocate with StrengthsFinder) & Candice (Certified Storyteller and Trainer with Tell THE Story) Brooks. They are experienced KidMin Pastors and would prove to be a wonderful resource for your KidMin Team!
Read to see how they may benefit your KidMin Team.
​"We are excited to share with you about Equip to Engage. Equip to Engage is a ministry born out of a burden God placed on our hearts for local children’s leaders.
As local Children’s Pastors, we knew from personal experience how much it meant to us to have relationships with these people that were serving in their local churches just like we were.  Not all children’s leaders have such a support system. Often times, they feel alone, underappreciated and unsure of the ministry that they are trying to accomplish. From this place, came our burden to come alongside to encourage and support other children’s leaders. 
It all started with an event called SPARK. SPARK is a grass roots event that was born in 2011 when two Indiana Nazarene districts partnered together and has grown from there. It is a low cost 3-day/2-night retreat for Local children’s leaders at camp and conference centers. It begins on Thursday evening and concludes Saturday early afternoon. At this event children’s leaders from all over the local region make connections, build relationships, and learn from each other.  They go home with resources in their hands feeling encouraged with the task God has set before them and spiritually renewed! At this event they realize and embrace that they are all on one team from different cities and states, but all called to serve God, children and their families.
This coming spring, there will be three SPARKs located in Indiana, Oklahoma, and Georgia. For more information about SPARK, email info@equiptoengage.org
To make a long story short, with the strong burden for children’s leaders and the need for more and more SPARKs around the country, we began to open up our hearts and minds for how God may want to change our current situation and use us in a way we couldn’t completely imagine or predict. In May of 2015, we resigned as the Pastor to Children and Families from Central Church of the Nazarene in Lenexa, Kansas to pursue this burden and call full-time with our family. When we said, “Yes” to God, our path has taken some twists and turns! We are now seeing God’s preparation in our lives for this moment that we didn’t recognize previously. Equip to Engage is a ministry that has become more than just a SPARK retreat. Candice is a certified storyteller and trainer with Tell THE Story. It is a simple, interactive method for telling a Bible story accurately. Together the group discovers deep truths as each person shares their perspective. Trey is a Strengths Advocate with StrengthsFinder. This is a tool that helps leaders learn and understand their God-given strengths. Through this understanding, individuals and teams can better serve others and with each other for God’s glory. We also both enjoy the opportunity to speak in various events from church camp to retreats to family revivals. 
This is what we are about in a nutshell:
Equip to Engage inspires children’s leaders through quality, affordable, local leadership development. This is accomplished with retreats, weekend events and specialized programs.
What makes Equip to Engage unique?
We concentrate on equipping, encouraging and connecting local children’s leaders and local churches. We understand many children’s leaders are lay people and are unable to attend national conferences.
Equip to Engage brings resources and encouragement to the local church or geographical area. Equip to Engage collaborates with local and district leaders as it seeks to make gatherings and resources as cost effective as possible for children’s leaders.
We would love to come to your area and serve alongside your ministry team in whatever capacity that may be helpful. We do not claim to have all of the answers, but we humbly offer our experience and deeply desire to offer encouragement and support as we all serve God together. Check us out online at equiptoengage.org." 

I know that your ministry would benefit from Trey & Candice coming and pouring into you and your team. Check them out! ​

Dear Christian Friends, 
Do you ever fear that we are going about sharing Jesus in all the wrong ways? Do we do things that make Jesus seem less than attractive? Without intending to, I know I have. 

We have gotten bandwagon happy. Hitting the "share" button the moment we read a headline has become our way of sharing our faith.  We proudly strut our Christian "stuff" to show that we are no one's patsy and will not be pushed around. You know what I mean; just like (or nothing like) Jesus. 

Enter the red Starbucks cup.
"Christian evangelists claimed Starbucks "fanned 'war on Christmas' with minimalist holiday red coffee cups." (NY Daily News) 
"Starbucks removed Christmas from their cups because they hate Jesus" was a claim actually made by an Arizona Pastor (a Facebook user whose rants have gone viral.) 
Our rants about this cup issue have gotten us quite a bit of attention. The number of headlines that are drawing eyes to our "cause" is staggering. From CBS to Fox News, the fact that Christians are outraged and planning to boycott or "prank" Starbucks is everywhere. 
I wish the attention made Jesus look like the hero.
Not us because we fear we're being "persecuted." 
We are not being martyred for our faith. We need to stop making it look like we are.
Its embarrassing.
Our intentions are good. We really do love Jesus. We don't want anyone telling us we can't. We often feel marginalized by society. We are proud of the fact that we are Christian.
These are noble truths. All worthy of being acted upon. 

• We are not standing up for things the way Christ did.

In the viral Facebook video, the pastor actually says: "you've offended us. So, just to offend you........." SERIOUSLY?! I don't remember anywhere that Jesus showed us that getting even was the way to go.

• We look like crowd followers. This viral Facebook post was originally made on November 5th. Just a couple of days ago (from the writing of this post). It's been seen by millions of people. Largely due to the fact that Christians see (in their news feeds)

 "Starbucks REMOVED CHRISTMAS from their cups because they hate Jesus...SO I PRANKED THEM......" We hit the "share" button (because we are instantly offended) and the post has suddenly gone viral. We feel good for standing up for our faith. "That bully Starbucks will not take Christ out of my Christmas" is how we begin to think. We lock arms and charge into battle against Starbucks vowing never again to tickle our tastebuds with the perfection of a Pumpkin Spice Latte. 
The way I see it, Jesus taught us to stand up for what's right BUT not without knowing who we are locking shields with. And, not by making us look like egotistical lunatics who are uneducated and loud. Why are we expecting a company who has never claimed to be Christ-followers to operate as though they are? That doesn't even make sense. 

Did you know?
1. Starbucks began offering "holiday" cups beginning in 1997. Each year since, the cup has had some sort of holiday emblem. The claim that Starbucks REMOVED CHRISTMAS IS purely false because they've NEVER USED it on their cups. Furthermore, Starbucks hasn't issued any sort of statement to it's employees forbidding them from wishing anyone a Merry Christmas. 
2. Starbucks uses the holiday cups beginning just when the frantic Pumpkin Spice Latte seasons starts to slow down. Therefore, the cups are used for at least two months. To call them "holiday" cups makes sense to me. I'm not offended. I don't stop loving Jesus because Starbucks refuses to put Christmas on my latte cup. 
3. Starbucks has never made personalized cups for anyone group, gender, or species. :) Sorry, Christians. This is not persecution. I am not "owed" a Christmas cup anymore than I'm owed a year of free coffee. To claim that this is my RIGHT IS beyond ridiculous. 
Please consider that 
Instead of getting even, my Christian friends, could we worry about some things that matter? What if our barista doesn't know Jesus? What if the person behind us in line is at the end of their rope and has no hope? We are so worried about cups (and leggings and the use of contemporary worship music) and other things that don't matter that I'm afraid we're really missing the boat. 

"Anyone who sets himself up as "religious" by talking a good game is self-deceived. This kind of religion is hot air and only hot air. Real religion, the kind that passes muster before God the Father, is this: Reach out to the homeless and loveless in their plight and guard against corruption from the godless world." James 1:26-17 
Let's guard against corruption from the godless world by working on our own junk and by demonstrating meekness, humility, and love this Christmas season instead of "Christian" venom.

Do you have a tendency to make things too complicated? What if I told you that leading well is easier than you think? Focus on these three areas and you will grow in your ability to lead others. 
 
1. Become confident.
Ever feel like you have no idea how to lead? Me too. 
Ever wonder if God made a mistake calling you to ministry? Me too. 
Do you second guess your decisions as a leader? Me too. 
Wonder if you're making the right call or have the right people in place? Yep. Me too. 
Doubting is so normal. I don't know any leader who does not doubt his/her ability to make all of the right calls 100% of the time.
We are all in over our heads. Underqualfied and uncertain. 
Instead of operating out of your lack of confidence, focus on how God has called you. If He's called you to ministry, He's wired and equipped you as well. Stop second guessing yourself. Lead until God closes the door. 
Part of being confident means that I admit my shortcomings. I am vulnerable and transparent as a leader. I move boldly through my week knowing that The Lord will redirect me if I am grieving Him. I ask Him to order my steps and move knowing that He has called me to lead. I don't wait or second guess everything I'm doing as a leader. Claim 1 Corinthians 15:58 

"With all this going for us, my dear, dear friends, stand your ground. And don’t hold back. Throw yourselves into the work of the Master, confident that nothing you do for him is a waste of time or effort." 1 Corinthians 15:58 

2. Love people.
Really love them.
Deeply.
Those people you see in the foyer and hallway, they're moms and dads bearing the battle wounds of parenting from a place of insecurity and inferiority. They need to know someone notices them. Sit with them and listen. Don't give answers. Just listen and love on them. They're doing the best they know to do. They want to be better parents. Pray with them. Carry their burdens. 
The kid who has been bullied all year long needs you. Go meet them for lunch at school. Sit with them. Let them know they matter. 

So much of ministry is do, do, do. What if for the next few weeks you stopped doing (not the necessary parts of your job obviously)? Stopped planning your next big event and just sat with a parent instead. Take a kid out for a Coke. Learn to look at people in the hallways. Ask how you can pray for them this week.
Pray that God would increase your ability to love others. 
Love the volunteer that is tough to work with. 
Love the parent who gives you unending grief.
Love the staff person that you feel you're competing with.
Genuinely loving people will change the way you lead them. It will also change the way they follow. 
Love people. 

​3. Serve others. 
It's not about us. It never has been. Taking me out of the equation as a leader, I ask "who can I serve this week?" What if it would be of great benefit to serve in another staff person's ministry? Is there a parent who needs a meal taken in? I could organize that. Are there projects around the church that have been needing to be done? Spend a few hours and chip in. Jesus called us to lead. Leaders serve others because they realize ministry is not about them. Serve by giving up a prime date for an event because it will benefit another ministry to do so. Serve the parents in your ministry by looking for ways to resource them constantly. 

1. Lead people? Love people. Relational currency will get you further ahead in leadership than any other skill or asset.
"The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these." Mark 12:31 

2. Lead Personally. Get to know those you lead on a personal level. They'll go further for you if they know you have taken the time to get to know them.
"Be shepherds of God's flock that is under your care, serving as overseers." 1 Peter 5:2

3. Lead by Example. Don't ever ask them to do something you're not willing yourself to do.
"In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity" Titus 2:7

4. Leaders are confident. People want to follow someone who believes in him/herself. Trust yourself and your wiring. 
"But in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect" 1 Peter 3:15

5. Leaders know their strengths: Know Your Style
"It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists." Ephesians 4:12 

6. Lead more. Do more than is required. 
"If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles." Matthew 5:41

7. Lead like a servant. True leadership means serving others. You are never above any task. 
"But it is not this way with you, but the one who is the greatest among you must become like the youngest, and the leader like the servant." Luke 22:26

8. Lead vulnerably. Ask a group of trust advisors to rate/critique your current style. Work to advance by improving your areas of weakness. Ask them to specifically address blind spots. 
"I rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at last you renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you were concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Yet it was good of you to share in my troubles." Philippians 4:10-14

9. Lead with purpose. Know EXACTLY where you are going and how you are going to get there. "Where there is no guidance the people fall, But in abundance of counselors there is victory." Proverbs 11:14

10. Leaders learn. Never. Stop. Learning. It may even mean that you have to give something else up for a season. Do it. It will set you apart. 
"Let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance." Proverbs 1:5 

11. Leaders Choose Their Battles. Not every hill is worth dying upon. Know which hills are. 
"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may life you up in due time." 1 Peter 5:6 

12. Leaders lift others. A leaders role is to build others up and to elevate them as much as possible. It's not about hogging center stage.
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves." Philippians 2: 3

13. Leaders Communicate. Communicating more than necessary, frequently, and with respect. 
"The mouth of the righteous utters wisdom." Psalm 37:30 

14. Leaders Steward Time. Leaders manage themselves well. They are self-motivated and use their time just like their money--intentionally. 
"Teach us to number our days." Psalm 90:12

15. Leaders Can Be Taken At Their Word. Don't ever skimp in the area of integrity. 
"To do what is right and just is more acceptable to the LORD than sacrifice." Proverbs 21:3 

16. Leaders Are Courageous. When challenges arise and seem daunting, a leader will rise and confront the problem.  
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 

17. Leaders are team players. They trust the intentions/motives of others and refuse to be offended knowing that the health of the team is at stake.
"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs." Ephesians 4:29 

18. Leaders don't know limits. Reaching higher, Leaders are geared towards idealism and believe they can make things happen that others cant.
"Whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31

19. Leaders develop leaders. Leaders pour into the lives of others when they see potential and work hard to develop them.
"Entrust to reliable people who will also be able to instruct others." 2 Timothy 2:2

20. Leaders prioritize. Their personal lives are in order. They know what matters most and spend their time investing in those areas. "Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all of these things will be added to you as well." Matthew 6:33

What am I missing that you'd add? 

I'm so glad to be in ministry in this age. I know things have changed greatly for me since I first began in Kids Ministry in 1995. I can remember sitting down trying to wrap my head around email for the first time and the excitement of setting that up on my brand new AOL account. (Yep. I'm that cool.) 
I love having so many tools at my disposal. Here are 5 tools that I depend on regularly to build our ministry to kids and their families. 
1. Social Media: this one to me is a NO BRAINER. Yet, I'm astonished when I talk to other ministry leaders that they don't see the value in creating a social media presence for their ministry. We use Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and now Periscope. How it benefits ministry: First it allows us to communicate important information. Perhaps more importantly, is the interaction on a relational/personal level with families. Posting pics of kids, helpful parenting advice, or celebrating our ministry wins gives me instant contact with families many times a week. This then, wracks up a ton of relational currency. (I haven't even mentioned all of the social media chat/support for leaders) 
2. Evernote: I could not function without this bad boy. My Post-It Note obsession still exists, however it has been tamed. I have Evernote files running on everything from those who are working in our Sunday morning service as crowd control, to mid-week theme night games. Evernote syncs between your devices enabling me to have the ability to access whatever I need wherever I am. How it benefits ministry: the search is amazing on this thing. I don't even have to remember what I call something. If I want to find Spiritually Significant Happenings 2015 I only have to type in spiritual. Being able to find things at a moments notice and not hunt down literal files is priceless in my "I'd lose my head if it weren't attached" A.D.D. world. 
3. MacBook: Let's just get this out there: I. Am. An. Apple. Snob. (I'm also a donut snob. Don't be a hater.) I seriously hang my head in shame when I try to remember life/ministry before my Macbook. To have apps like iMovie, iMessage and countless others, saves me countless hours. How it benefits ministry: it creates amazing, quality images and videos. So much of what we do is media/marketing. The visuals matter. Seriously. 
4. Text Messaging System: I am a fan of Remind.com. I know there are better, more advanced systems out there but as of now, I am still using Remind for free. They continue to upgrade their system and options. I can now receive messages back from people that I've group messaged and the reply only comes to me without revealing my real phone number. How it benefits ministry. I am able to send reminders to a ton of people at once. People are way more likely to read my text than they are my Facebook message or email.  
5. Word Swag: I am not an artist. My stick figures leave something to be desired. I need all of the help I can get. While I am tempted to drool over those of you who have full time graphic designers as part of your staff, that is not my current reality. So, I have taught myself some things using apps like Word Swag. Word Swag is super easy to use. It was only a few dollars and I'm able to use a ton of their stock images or to import my own. How it benefits ministry. See #3. :) It's graphic design for dummies. What are your "go to" ministry tools right now? I'd love to hear yours. 

"People don't care how much they know until they know how much you care." (Originally stated by Theodore Roosevelt but is traced these days to leadership guru John Maxwell) 
I believe that most of the people with whom I serve believe the same. Until I show them that I care, they couldn't care less about how much I know. They don't care from where/how many degrees I have. They want to know that I know them. My team wants to know that I am invested in them personally. 
I know that it matters to me. When the leader above me takes a vested interest in my family life, ministry, or even my health, I feel valued. That's what I want to pass along to my team. I want them to feel valued. 
The best way that I've discovered to do this is by texting them this question on a fairly regular (every other month) basis: "how can I best pray for you and your family this week?" 
This one question has allowed me access into the personal lives of our Children's Ministry Team Members in a way that I could not have accessed before. This one question has led to cups of coffee over shared hurts, prayer together before/after an event, and allowed me to know when someone had a need that I could possibly help meet. 
Powerful results in this one question. It will change your ability to lead. You will have earned a ton of relational currency and loyalty as a leader. You can take that to the bank. 
How about you? Do you have one way of connecting with your KidMin Team that works for you? 

OK, this has literally been on my "to do" list for probably four months. It feels so good to finally have it finished. And, I love how it turned out. 
Blah, Blah, Blah............ I love Tru and the "Big God Story." In order to give kids (and parents) a tangible visual, I wanted to put up some sort of timeline. Here's the problem .....when it comes to projects like this, I am SO OUT OF MY AREA OF GIFTEDNESS. Like, I literally feel so paralyzed by it that I can't even start (thus the 4 months!). I have trouble visualizing the end result so I feel like I can't ask anyone to help because I don't know what to ask them to do. Anyone else ever freeze up like this in certain areas? Please tell me how to get past it. :) 

Here is the finished product. 


Link to David C Cook's Tru "Big God Story" 

While visiting over a cup of coffee recently, I listened to my friend talk about a job she used to have. She was required to check in with a control center over the phone periodically. As she talked about this job, her face lit up as she explained that she called in so often, the person on the other line could identify her by her voice. They called her by name. She was known to them. When her company switched the location she had to call, she was suddenly a no one. Each time she would call in she would have to give her name. She knew that no one on the other end of the phone knew her. She talked about how she missed "being known" by the employees at the first center. They knew her name and her story. She mattered. 
When it comes to ministry, I think that if we could get this ONE THING right, we would be able to make a HUGE difference. If we could make relationships a priority, we would create community....community is what people long for and are so often lacking. 

The pace at which ministry happens is so overwhelming that, as pastors, we often overlook the importance of just BEING with people.....learning their names and their stories. I've determined to do better in this one area. 

People want to be known. Are they known by my ministry? Here are some questions that got me thinking about how relational my ministry is. 

• Do we know their name?
  
• Do we know their story? 
  
• Are they missed if they're not here? 
  
• How do we communicate to them that they're known? 
  

How about my KidMin Team? One of the best ways I can build a healthy team of leaders it to develop a sense of community....to allow everyone to feel they belong and matter. 

• Do they know that I know them? 
  
• Are they comfortable coming to me with needs they may have? 
  
• Do they seek my advice/leadership when they have questions because they know they will be heard and valued? 
  

How about you? How important do you think relationships are in ministry? What do you do to intentionally develop them? 

I wrote last week about how (as a Children's Pastor/Leader) I had come to realize that I had fallen into "the comparison trap." (If you missed that post, you can read about that by using this link.) I received a lot of supportive feedback from many of my colleagues in Children's Ministry that were saying "this resonates with me." I have to admit that even hitting the "post" button felt like I was exposing myself. So, thanks for the support and feedback to those of you who have contacted me. Hang in there, I know that together, we can encourage one another as we do ministry from the middle of the pack-right where God has placed us. 
I mentioned that I was going to list out the specific steps that I was going to take in order to overcome this comparison trap. Here they are. I realize that some of these seem pretty dramatic. That's ok. I am willing to try it. 
1. Admitting that I've been comparing my ministry to others. The cat is outta the bag now. Confessed before The Lord and by putting it in writing I am now making myself accountable. 
2. For one year I am committing to NOT READ any books that are specific to Children's Ministry. Leadership, evangelism, or communication books are great. Just not specific KidMin "how to" books. I have found myself constantly trying to measure up to the standards of what others consider to be excellent. You know about my addition to podcasts, right?! Well, this one year commitment includes podcasts. Gasp. Gonna be a tough year for yours truly. I am embarrassed to admit how many books I read in a single year on ministry matters. :) No conferences, books, or podcasts that address specific ministry "how to's" is going to be a tough one for me to carry out. Wish me luck! This one is seriously going to be hard for me. I believe in the "leaders are readers" theory. I just need to redirect what I'm reading for a time. 
3. Shift in Focus: at this year's Global Leadership Summit Jim Collins mentioned being responsible for your "unit." This spoke to me. If I can make myself remember that I am only responsible for the "unit" where God has placed me, it changes the way I think. I then, embrace the skills and gifts that I've been given and process, problem solve, and lead with my one "unit." Not gonna worry about what worked with someone else's unit. My unit is unique. 
4. Investing in other leaders. I am committing myself this year to invest in the ministries of other leaders. This isn't about me....it's about us, together, advancing the Kingdom! What a privilege. We are so much stronger together. 

So, one year. It ought to be interesting! 
How about you? What have you done to break from the trap of ministry comparisons? What has worked for you? 

True confessions: 

• One of my Pandora stations is "Nature Sounds With Music." (I'm a party animal like that) 
  
• Sometimes I eat ice cream for lunch. Only ice cream. 
  
• I rarely watch tv.
  
• I struggle to keep the balls of motherhood, ministry, and my messy life all in the air at the same time. 
  
• Most days I go to bed feeling as though there are a million things I never got done. 
  
• Ministry overwhelms me....both in good and bad ways. 
• I feel the pressure to define the success of my ministry based on what other people have deemed success. 

They say that life begins at the end of your comfort zone.  Comfort zone? What's that?! I'm a first-born rule follower. Rules and structure have provided me with a lifetime of comfort. From recipes to roadmaps I've sought safety in following directions. Even when it comes to ministry. 
A seminar speaker delivers a motivational message? They must be an expert. I'd better do what they say.
A new book by one who has seen tremendous success in ministry....I can replicate that. 
The expert says I need small groups. I build small groups. 
The expert says that I need to use this program to schedule my calendar. Done. 
The expert says that I need to focus my ministry on a certain group. You got it. 
The experts say that I need to use their curriculum in order for my ministry to be successful. Ordered.
Why is it that after each book, podcast, or webinar, I feel like there is something I'm still missing? 
Because I am. I am missing me......Jill. 
I am missing the opportunity to understand the unique role to which God has called me.
I am missing the chance to learn the unique group of kids over which I am responsible.
I am missing the opportunity to embrace who I am as a pastor and as a person. 
Over the course of nearly 20 years in ministry now, I've found myself envious, frustrated, and even believing that somehow I fall short as a leader when compared to other pastors. 
Until today. 
I'm done comparing my ministry. 
I'm done comparing our programs. 
I am done trying to adapt to the management styles of other great leaders. 
I want to embrace me. 
I want to embrace the middle of the pack (not mega) church to which I've been called. 
I want to embrace the gifts and talents that I have and develop those specifically. 
I admit that I have been giving God someone else's best. Not mine!  
Today I stop the comparison game and become the Children's Pastor I've been called to be. 
2 Timothy 4:4-5  says, "But-keep your eye on what you're doing.................do a thorough job as God's servant." I've not been called to keep my eyes on what other people are doing. 
I don't have an army of paid staff under my leadership. 
I don't have scores of small group leaders. 
I don't have a check in area that resembles a theme park. 
I am me. I am gifted, qualified, and love doing ministry in the middle of the pack. 

I believe that God wants to liberate me from this comparison trap. I love the ideas that He is giving me to make this practical. I will share those in my next post. 
In the mean time, I'd love to hear from you. Have you ever felt "less than" when it comes to your ministry? Have you been jealous, discouraged, or frustrated because of what "so and so" had? What steps did you take to overcome this negative mind-set and embrace the pastor you've been called to be?